A Typical Day with Two Kids, As Told by EMOJI

I have a great friend - his name is Emoji. Ever heard of him? He's probably hanging out with you on your phone. He might give you some suggestions on how to communicate when you're at a loss for words. Just go to your text messages and you'll see.

Since we are such great buddies, I thought I'd give you a breakdown of how I communicate through the world of emojis when I spend the day with my kids. I don't know how I could've possibly lived without emojis! These guys are amazing!

6:00 AM - 7:30 AM

My kids wake up sometime between these hours. For the six a.m. wake up calls, I usually rely on my alarm clock - the kids. Here's a comparison of me vs. them.

How my kids usually are in the morning:

My face in the morning, before the coffee kicks in.

7:30 AM - 9:00 AM

Once the kids have a clean butt and clean teeth (myself included), we eat breakfast. For James, it involves a big bottle (as if he hasn't already drank enough in the past 10 hours), and for Lily, it's usually a rolling selection of fruit, oatmeal, pancakes, eggs and/or toast, and cereal. As for me, I just eat the leftovers.

Gotta feed your kid better than your feed yourself right? Totally.

9:00 AM - 11:00 AM

On a good day, the kids play by themselves (semi) quietly in a corner.

My son's favorite thing to do is bother the cat (which pisses her off)...and crawl into the bathroom. He gets a lot of delight from splashing the toilet water.

Sometimes, we even do a little bit of this.

  

On a bad day, both kids are crying about something. And I just want to scream.

Then it's time for James to take his first nap.

 

11:30 AM - 1:00 PM

While James naps, my daughter blabbers on about whatever...anything and everything...and demands my full attention.

I wish she would do this instead.

1:00 - 3:00 PM

By this time, James has woken up from this nap. We play, go to the park, run errands, whatever...

3:30 - 5:00 PM

On the weekends, it usually means that Daddy is home from work by 3:30 PM. When he gets home, this is what happens.

It's all daddy for a while...then depending on the day & how he napped in the morning, James might go down for another nap.

5:00 - 7:00 PM

Almost dinner time. That means they play while my husband (or me if he's working) makes dinner.

7:30 - 8:00 PM

Bedtime!!! That means party time* for mom and dad.

The cycle starts all over again the next day.

*Full disclosure: "Party time" means sitting down on the couch reading a magazine and/or on the computer researching stuff and/or watching old 80s movies like "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"